I knew right at the moment I told my friend I’ll go home with my other friend that I was already setting myself up for massive boredom.
This guy liked me and I knew it. I showed interest, but he was leaving to college, of course it hurt. But I am surprised it did. I am never really interested in the people who like me, adoration from others sickens me in the most uncommon way possible.
He walked up to go to the bathroom, I told his friend to text him telling him to take charge, I knew he would do it. He likes me.
Meanwhile I am texting someone who I have interest in. Shameful i know, but i never said i was perfect. He asks me to take a walk with him. I already knew what was going to happen, I guess I was just doing it mostly for his benefit. i told him we can walk by this par on the other corner on the other side of the block, of course along the way an alley-way goes in-between, a sexual beings best friend when wanting to engage with another body.
He pulls me in and starts making out, fun at first, I am being kept busy, his mouth tasted of pall malls with the a hint of rose tea. Take a drag, kiss me, take a drag, kiss me. Already a gross combo but whatever.. Never had I experienced such a lack of synchronization, everything felt stagnant. Granit it might have been due to my lack of emotion, but that can be over-looked when effort is still being put in. He mixed his body contact with roughness then the pauses where we would be kissing with your necks.
He reached behind and under my boxer briefs to grab onto my sweaty ass-cheek, By that point my mind started to wander. fleeting thoughts such as, “I wonder if it is going to rain tonight” , “Why are you doing this?” , “His upper lips tastes gross.”
I wish I could have had television in my head, something to mute the weird groans coming from the depths of his chest.
He tried fishing for my cock, he was like Hellen Keller trying to find a needle in a haystack.

He pulled away for a breather, a perfect opening.. He beat me too the punch, “Hey do you want to go somewhere quieter?”.. The narrator in my head said “No, I do not feel like seeing your penis.” So I decided to put on the fucked up subtitles, you know, the ones that never match the words, what came out was “I feel bad for _______ she has been up all day, I need to get going anyways as well.”
He buttoned up his shirt, as to why he unbuttoned it to begin with? I don’t know.

Thoughts of a boy.



That’s all I can sum up earth as.. We just spin, day in and day out. Not really questioning the sky above us.. We forget the expanse we see above is untouchable.. Maybe it’s because we keep ourselves so busy to worry our thoughts with anything other than our daily problems. I shouldn’t really care though, I am known to fall victim to it 90% of the time. i guess that’s just it, we created our world within a world so strongly we lose sight of the big picture. Even the weakest of humans carry that superiority complex that has been deeply rooted inside us since humans were able to realize we had a higher intelligence than the other living things around us.

It’s kind of sad though. To see the rut we have ourselves in. The inescapable trap has been sprung so long ago we have forgotten that we were caught. I see nothing all that special about us, we have nothing to really be proud of, we destroy everything around us. With no real remorse. You may think this does not pertain to you, but it does. The simple act of dropping a gum wrapper on the floor is a perfect example. Whether you are looking at it from a corporate business clear-cutting forests, too massive cities of trash hidden in places you will never see. Have you ever really thought where your trash goes, after the garbage man picks it up? I’m sure it was a flash of thought. But nothing that you ever really sat and pondered on. I’m sure your newest obsession brought on by others is what consumes your mind. Or your loved one who is in pain. or your own worries of life decisions.

Please.. do not confuse me as some vegan-activist, I am non of the sorts. I am the person who throws the gum wrapper on the floor… I’m you, maybe that’s why you should pay heed to what I have to say. Cherish every little thing. It’s the biggest advice that will always be told to you in one way or another.. But that advice is the hardest to follow. Your mind gets cluttered.. It forgets. Don’t worry it’s not your fault.. Just like me you have been bred this way.

I will cry over my sisters death, I will cry over my fathers.. But sadly there will be a day when you will not be able to keep them in your thoughts, where they will not enter it for weeks, who knows, even possibly months. Although, you will remember the death of your celebrity, your favorite character on your favorite, show and movie.. They will be revered and gossiped about amongst friends. over coffee, over dinner.. Their deaths you will properly talk out and feel better over. Those will take driver seat next to your most personal problems..

By know you should know how these posts go, no real purpose. I guess it’s for you to decide on what it is that you need to grab from all of this. You see, I get the benefit of typing to my hearts content. You get the opportunity to make something of it.

Thoughts of a Boy.


I flirted with a 14 year old boy.

He wasn’t gay, but he had this boyish smile and naive sense of things. I could tell the horrible woes of high-school hadn’t attacked him yet.

I made sexual innuendos and played Pool.

Enough ball jokes to last a lifetime.. Sometimes I wish I had maintained the brain of a 14 year old. Not in learning and what-not.. just of an outlook on things socially. Maybe what we need to do to somehow make things a little nicer of a place to be is to study kindergartners through 14 year old and act how they act socially.. Minus the Lord of the Flies.. Those kids were fucked up.

I know I was never going to try anything on the boy, but he was nice.


No shits are givin.

Famous people poop.

Do I have your attention now? Think about your favorite actor or idol, or person you look up to even.. Hey if you get creative enough, picture the person you are in love with. They all go to the toilet and they take their phone, book, anything they need to do the deed, and sit on the toilet and shit one out.
Megan fox, get’s diarrhea. Zac Efron, sometimes experiences a burning butt-hole after eating a lot of salsa. Lady Gaga, sits down for a good 10-15 minutes and has a nice healthy poop.
I find it funny how people lose sight on how normal everyone is, how no matter how different we all are from each other, we do things every day that every single human on this earth does as well.
A Murderer, A child, A thief, A Corporate Executive, A Neighbor, A bum, A nice old Woman, A dying person, Everyone and anyone.. Poops.

I find this a nice post to start of this blog, It gives a good all around basis on how unfiltered these thoughts will be, some will be serious, some will make no sense whatsoever. It is for you to interpret and for you to relate.

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